I'm not Allison. People like to think that is my name, but its NOT. So for our purposes, you can just call me Notallison. I'm not so good with mystery, either. I should actually rephrase that. I'm the type of person who can't be told secrets because it is humanly impossible for me to keep my mouth shut. From about 6th grade on my friends began making me pinkie swear not to tell my mom HIGHLY confidential information...but I always did...and everyone knows that pinkie swearing is the highest form of contract.
With that in mind I have wanted to write a blog and be this highly mysterious person with awesomely hilarious stories. No one will know me, I'll just be the superhero of blogging. Teacher by day...unbelievably witty megamind by night/times during the day when I can. That being said I know I will probably be unsuccessful at that...mainly because i'm not so good with the secrets.
I think the real reason for starting this blog is probably because I'm finishing up my last final projects as a college student...five years has taken its toll, and I've been dying of senioritis for a while now. So...rather than actually do all the crap that I'm supposed to be doing...I'm here. I think of it kind of like penicillin for all my brain particles that are tired of typing teaching standards and making up stupid games to use to teach kids math. (i mean fun games...all of my games are so freaking fun!)
Basically...My life is one ridiculous situation after another. I have a theory that all people's lives are like this...And I'm just maybe better at observing. I'm not sure if thats true, though...my life may just be ridiculous.
I get myself into a lot of these situations. I think its cuz I'm not what you would call a planner...i'm more a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-that-I've-probably-had-ripped-off-accidentally-in-the-process-of-my-graceful-spontaneity-and-now-I'm-just-trying-my-hardest-to-retain-my-modesty-while-carrying-on-whatever-totally-unnecessary-situation-I've-gotten-myself-into kind of gal., I'm also surrounded by children all the time. Crazy just follows them around.
Lastly, I've got my sister, who I am gonna call "bomb" for the purposes of this blog. Shes younger, and has a reputation for being a little destructive...also if you are texting her name, auto correct changes it to bomb...hence the code (creative right?). My sister is 7 years younger than I am (she'll say 8 but shes a dirty liar) and hands down the funniest person I've ever met. We're pretty much the only sane ones in my otherwise commit-able family...which is why most of my stories will probably involve her.
Also. I like sushi. not so much eating it (which i do like, but not as much) more looking at it...cuz its pretty...like me...only not as pretty. I'm freaking gorgeous.
I have to start the first blog with a story...so it'll be a short one because I've already written a novel:
I'm kind of loud...and at the center of attention a lot. I love this position, its really where I'm the most comfortable...I guess you could call me an extrovert (I guess...maybe...please don't leave me alone). I am normally a very socially competent person...that is until I am forced into a professional setting. No matter what: my professional sorority (that was a stupid 10 month mistake!) Classes within my major, group projects, any of those; if I am with other people my age bracket from the same profession I will make an idiot of myself and further cement my title of "social pariah" of the group. The following conversation is a perfect example of this:
Scene: all girls (because only girls are teachers...great dating pool...) having a conversation around a table about their first full days of student teaching. Taking over a classroom brings all sorts of revelations, such as how hard it is to stand or run around a classroom for 8 hours straight, or how obnoxious it is to answer the same question a million times (there are days I pray for short term memory loss...how long will you ignore my pleas, Lord?) etc. Notallison walks in halfway through the conversation, and realizes she can totally relate! finally, a conversation she can join in!
One bitchy girl (*disclaimer* most teachers/future teachers are actually really bitchy girls...not all of us...but most): I am just so tired! it has to get better than this!
All bitchy girls: nod in agreement Ya, totally, our lives are so hard (*disclaimer* teachers have the hardest *note sarcasm* lives EVER!)
Notallison: thinking about how it was surprisingly difficult to teach a full day. The most difficult thing she thought was talking all day! By lunch time she was so tired of hearing herself she could have super glued her mouth shut and been grateful for the silence. "say that," Notallison thinks to herself, "say that!" Do you guys ever get tired of hearing your own voice?
all conversation stops...all girls slowly turn to look at Notallison. Realizing the misunderstanding Notallison tries to recover
Notallison: I mean...like when you're teaching...like talking...you do a lot..and i'm like whew...talking...right? words? Can't so much think of any now...um ya...how bout that um...kids...they're funny? random incoherent mumblings about lunch time and superglue.
bitchy girls continue their awkward stare...Notallison feels their wrath and slowly walks away while one girl adds a sarcastic sympathy laugh...once again social pariah-ness rears its ugly head.
AAAAAAAAAAAND end scene.
So there you go. My first example of social pariah-ty...and awkwardness. But seriously guys, I promise I'm cool. Please read my blog. Please?
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